The End of the World: Moving On
Okay, I’ve got good news and bad news.
Good news: The CERN LHC was fired up yesterday and the world didn’t end!
Bad news: If you followed any of my suggestions from the past few days, you might need some pointers on what to do now. ((End of the World Survival Guide, The End of the World: A To Do List.))
- Give up smoking and drugs.
- You’ll need a new will and gym membership.
- You kept receipts, right?
- You’ll probably need to go back to renting an apartment.
- Work on your resume. There’s no way your boss is taking you back.
- Get a good lawyer to deal with the DUI, solicitation, and federal wildlife protection charges.
- Face facts, you’re probably uninsurable now.
- Two words: credit counseling.
- Consider switching to a religion that offers absolution or papal indulgences.
- STD tests for everyone!
Something most of those CERN / LHC lawsuits forgot to mention is that even though the Large Hadron Collider was fired up yesterday, it won’t warm up to smash things together for a few weeks. So, we’re not totally out of the woods yet…
(Too bleak for a Thursday?)